Jul 11, 2023·edited Jul 11, 2023Liked by Mackenzie
Seems many of us are in the same boat here in regards to Instagram. I haven't truly enjoyed my time on the app in a long while, but am hesitant to let it go entirely
I've made it a nice space, to the best of my ability, and I follow only lovely people who value similar things I do. And yet, for some reason, I know that my mental health is impacted with each moment spent there.
I'm also unsure of my path forward with it, but for now am just trying to shift my attention from endless scrolling to reading and making connections on Substack. Maybe if I slowly separate myself, the attachment to Instagram will fade.
Absolutely love what you said here Whitney: ‘Maybe if I slowly separate myself, the attachment to Instagram will fade’. Yesssssss..... 🙌🏼 I am holding onto this sentence, thank you for writing it! 💛✨
This resonates so much, Mackenzie! I find Instagram gives me more of what I’m feeling too, and lately that hasn’t been good.
I hate losing myself for hours at a time, but it’s addicting! It can’t be helped. It’s like jumping in to a river and slowly being dragged down under the surface. I can feel it/ see it happen when I use the app, but it’s so hard to stop and bring myself back to the surface.
I start to feel annoyed after seeing an advert, but then I have a run of nice content, then a few adverts in quick succession of each other, then a suggested reel which I enjoy watching, then one that I don’t. There’s movement, noise, chatter, songs, words, pictures, demands. I just can’t take it, but yet I still keep scrolling. I’m running down a hill now and I can’t stop.
Sure, there are bits in there that I enjoy seeing and consuming, but overall the increase and decrease in my mood is too much. I shouldn’t feel like this just from using an app. And so I have deleted it from my phone.
Everything is still there should I need it, but I have to log on via my laptop now which adds another step that I often can’t be bothered to take. I’ve really enjoyed this boundary, and I’ve found that the longer I go between checking Instagram, the less I feel compelled to check it.
I love how you described being on Instagram, that is exactly how it feels 🙃 The app is definitely addicting and it is nice to know that others are feeling the same and it is not just me.
That’s a good idea to not have the app on your phone, just on your laptop. Everyone has had such great ideas in the comments! I’m going to take it all in and figure out what I need to do 💛✨
Love this...thanks for sharing your viewpoints Mackenzie - especially loved this...
“And I don't what to do now. I don't know what to do with my newfound consciousness. I genuinely like whom I follow on the app and feel I would miss some of the interactions on there.”
What I’d say is what you do today doesn’t have to be the same as what you do tomorrow.
I unhooked my brain by taking regular digital detoxes. I noticed when I started Substack my Instagram community had no capacity to engage in my new long form way of being but before that I’d realised I thought I had something there that I actually didn’t... it’s complex but the connection was with a version of myself... people wanted to interact with a very specific version of me.
When my husband Dave got sick that version of me was buried in new born life, caring responsibilities and feeling scared... (nearly) no one and I will repeat this (nearly) no one on the gram cared.
The people who cared and helped came from other places apart from one of Dave’s ex clients who saw a post I’d written there that most folks have ignored and drove 50 minutes to chat with us on the doorstep (lockdown) brought presents for the kids and loads of home cooked food. It was so unbelievably beautiful it’s almost like it didn’t happen...
Social media showed me the worst of humanity at a time when I was painfully desperate for support.
Of course it’s not because they didn’t care it’s because they weren’t there for that and that’s why I’ve built community somewhere else now because recognising that chatting with people online everyday for years (a lot of them local) is literally just that ... just chat ... well that bit hit hard...
‘Social media showed me the worst of humanity at a time when I was painfully desperate for support’. Oh Claire, I am so sorry that this time in your life you didn’t have the extra support that you needed. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big giant hug 🤗
And I completely understand about chatting with people online for years thinking it’s more, but it is just chat. Yes, I can relate to that one for sure.
Oh my goodness, that's such a poignant story. And a real reminder I guess that the community we think we are building on Instagram might not be what we think it is.
awful way to find out that most of what we think we have created on instagram isn't real community or friendship at all! That said, I think, even though we have lots of mutual people, it's where you and I built our friendship initially and for that I am grateful :)
Oh this sounds like you are in my brain Mackenzie! I too feel like I need space away from Instagram but feel I will genuinely miss some of the content and people I follow. I say to myself that I should set boundaries such as don't use the app until a certain time and stop using it after a certain time but I find that easier said than done. I feel like I need it but also that I could probably live without it. It's a tough one isn't it! I'm interested to see what others have to say on the topic ☺️
Yes, I’ve tried to set boundaries with it as well, such as not using it after 7 in the evening or something. I do really well for a bit and then... I’m back on it before bed 😣
essentially the platform is created to keep you there as long as possible. very clever people who understand human psychology have made it so - we all feel weak for not being able to control ourselves when in reality, it's really really hard
I took a week’s break about two and a half months ago and I didn’t know how much I needed it til I did it. I don’t know if I’ll bother getting back to it now, I really don’t miss it.
I did pop back on just to check if I had any messages and a few people were worried about me. The pull to stay and scroll was soooo strong so I just deleted it again. It’s such a time suck and I feel more creative and contented without all that endless noise.
To share my experience, I deactivated my Instagram in August 2022 and haven't looked back. I now concentrate all my efforts on YouTube and here and my business had grown dramatically so I can not make this my full time job.
I have an even deeper relationship with my community and my mental health has significantly benefitted from this decision. For me, there is no upside that Instagram, or social media generally, that can outweigh the negatives.
Maybe you could trail deactivating Instagram for a few weeks to see how you feel?
‘For me, there is no upside that Instagram, or social media generally, that can outweigh the negatives’. I love what you said here. Social media seems very heavy and a weight that we just don’t want to carry anymore.
Deactivating Instagram definitely seems like a possibility, thanks for the advice! 😊
My feed is mostly of interesting art, which I find thought-provoking and interesting. I'm not a heavy user of Instagram and don't understand entirely how it works but, for me, my power is in curating my feed so that it isn't full of posts that make me want but things that lift me up.
I really like your distinction on what Instagram is really influencing us on, I haven’t thought of it as coveting before but that’s really what FOMO is in a way.
I’ve been feeling similarly about it and wish I could give an answer/some advice. Lately I’ve just been treating as a space to share for fun what I’ve been working on, but even that feels a bit forced. I just don’t enjoy the scroll there anymore. I find that when I’m off the app my brain feels a lot quieter. Now with Threads, there’s something new to focus on, but the novelty of that feels rather short lived.
Letters from a Hopeful Creative has a recent podcast about building an audience without Instagram, I recommend checking it out if you haven’t already!
‘I just don’t enjoy the scroll there anymore. I find that when I’m off the app my brain feels a lot quieter’. Yes, me too! I’ve realized I feel a bit of anxiety more and more each time I am on there.
I will definitely check out that podcast episode! Thanks for the recommendation Kerani! 💛
Good grief... I am at that same point... I’m questioning all of the above and literally wrecking my head with the question, ‘do I delete entirely, do I just post once a week or once a month..?’
Like you I’ve made some wonderful friends there over 12 years but there are other ways to stay in contact right..!
I still can’t decide and am new to Substack, have very few subs and am still finding my way around - but with the addition of Notes here it feels like I could start again - the question is do I have the energy to put my all into something new, again?
It feels so scary and yet it shouldn’t.. it’s just a little app!!
I réalise this doesn’t help you in the slightest either and as always a problem shared is not halved but doubled - it’s a relief to know I’m not alone in this dilemma though... 🙏🏽
It is a relief to know that I am not alone in my dilemma Susie! It is hard to navigate social media and all the apps when everything is vying for our attention, isn’t it?
Just now getting around to reading this. Thanks for sharing the link with me! I'm so glad we're having these conversations and being honest about where we all are with Instagram (or just social media in general). I don't have answers but I want to keep talking about it.
oh my, so much to say! I am in a similar season of dilemma. There are some people who if I left entirely I would for sure lose contact with and I don't really want to tbh. I also like some of the fun content created by people like Clara at Colormeloverly who do absolutely add value to my life.
I am in a season of social media burn out though, I have to use it for a couple of work related projects and even deleting the apps is problematic from that point of view. But I did close my facebook group and stop posting to my page. I am also almost weaned off using it socially to keep up with friends and family too. I feel so done with about 95% of it. I joined threads and almost instantly deleted the app and have felt no pull whatsoever to go back to it.
I think for me I need to make some very clear decisions. Like should I log onto instagram once a day to do what I need to do and then delete the app? I already have a time limit of 30 mins set up on my phone but I can easily and often do, override this. Gah!
Yes, social media burnout! It has all become too much, really. So. Many. Apps. I think collectively we are realizing that our attention is truly being scattered and we’re trying desperately to get it back.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here Sarah and I hope you find a way that works for you with Instagram! 💕
It's a big dilemma for sure. I think the biggest challenge for me are the lifestyle comparisons it triggers. One minute I'm enjoying my small simple life, feeling blessed with what I have, the next minute I'm consuming images of other people's carefully curated and stylised lives and feeling woefully inadequate. Even though I know they are heavily curated, I instantly feel that I am lacking. I haven't found a solution, other than to remind myself that people only tend to post their highlights. Behind the scenes their life looks a lot like mine, with the same struggles, insecurities, disappointments and heartbreaks. Substack feels refreshing cos the conversations here are a little deeper, fuller and more real than the stylised sound-bites on Instagram.
‘One minute I'm enjoying my small simple life, feeling blessed with what I have, the next minute I'm consuming images of other people's carefully curated and stylised lives and feeling woefully inadequate. Even though I know they are heavily curated, I instantly feel that I am lacking’. THIS... 👏🏼👏🏼 Yes, you have summed it up exactly! Constantly comparing ourselves to others on that app runs deep, doesn’t it?
Hello! December 1st of last year, I deleted my beloved Instagram account. I debated it for months, especially since it was a platform where I kept up on local nonprofits, discovered artists and creators, and made friends with people from different parts of the world; and I also love photography and loved sharing my photos.
Ultimately though, I subscribed to newsletters, patreons, or found the websites of those organizations and creators, got the actual emails/WhatsApp numbers of friends, and actually announced a month ahead in an IG story that I was deleting it, which helped me to delete it, and I also got other people that I followed sharing their personal contact info (I deleted Facebook s few months prior).
Once I did delete, I thought it would be hard withdrawal, missing it terribly. You know what? I didn’t. It was actually a bit astonishing how I simply didn’t use it anymore. It did have the effect of focusing more on friendships that I really cherish, and it also made me realize which artists/creators I truly admire, and which organizations I strongly believe in. Everything has become s but more intentional, again.
Thank you for sharing Kristin! These are such great ideas about how you can still be connected to whom and what you are interested in, without being tethered to the app. You’ve given me food for thought, thanks! 🤗
It's truly a love/hate toxic relationship that I have with Instagram now, for all the reasons you and others have described. And it's been a huge part of my life, but I almost feel that the digital grooming is only now coming to light. I just wish there was an IG-original platform where the photos were everything; where business and advertising stayed TF out; where it felt like everyone had their own albums to share; where it was a beautiful hobby- space instead of an addictive, habit-changing time suck. Sigh...
You write so beautifully and I think you've really captured the essence of my unease with Instagram. I still enjoy spending time there but I'm aware that I spend a lot less time there than I used to - and I'm fine with that. Most days I check with with stories and those of my pals but I rarely explore anymore and I stick to my formula of posting 3-4 times per week. I'm not ready to give it up but I'm not ready to invest much energy in it either.
Seems many of us are in the same boat here in regards to Instagram. I haven't truly enjoyed my time on the app in a long while, but am hesitant to let it go entirely
I've made it a nice space, to the best of my ability, and I follow only lovely people who value similar things I do. And yet, for some reason, I know that my mental health is impacted with each moment spent there.
I'm also unsure of my path forward with it, but for now am just trying to shift my attention from endless scrolling to reading and making connections on Substack. Maybe if I slowly separate myself, the attachment to Instagram will fade.
Absolutely love what you said here Whitney: ‘Maybe if I slowly separate myself, the attachment to Instagram will fade’. Yesssssss..... 🙌🏼 I am holding onto this sentence, thank you for writing it! 💛✨
This resonates so much, Mackenzie! I find Instagram gives me more of what I’m feeling too, and lately that hasn’t been good.
I hate losing myself for hours at a time, but it’s addicting! It can’t be helped. It’s like jumping in to a river and slowly being dragged down under the surface. I can feel it/ see it happen when I use the app, but it’s so hard to stop and bring myself back to the surface.
I start to feel annoyed after seeing an advert, but then I have a run of nice content, then a few adverts in quick succession of each other, then a suggested reel which I enjoy watching, then one that I don’t. There’s movement, noise, chatter, songs, words, pictures, demands. I just can’t take it, but yet I still keep scrolling. I’m running down a hill now and I can’t stop.
Sure, there are bits in there that I enjoy seeing and consuming, but overall the increase and decrease in my mood is too much. I shouldn’t feel like this just from using an app. And so I have deleted it from my phone.
Everything is still there should I need it, but I have to log on via my laptop now which adds another step that I often can’t be bothered to take. I’ve really enjoyed this boundary, and I’ve found that the longer I go between checking Instagram, the less I feel compelled to check it.
I hope you can find your happy balance 🤍
I love how you described being on Instagram, that is exactly how it feels 🙃 The app is definitely addicting and it is nice to know that others are feeling the same and it is not just me.
That’s a good idea to not have the app on your phone, just on your laptop. Everyone has had such great ideas in the comments! I’m going to take it all in and figure out what I need to do 💛✨
Love this...thanks for sharing your viewpoints Mackenzie - especially loved this...
“And I don't what to do now. I don't know what to do with my newfound consciousness. I genuinely like whom I follow on the app and feel I would miss some of the interactions on there.”
What I’d say is what you do today doesn’t have to be the same as what you do tomorrow.
I unhooked my brain by taking regular digital detoxes. I noticed when I started Substack my Instagram community had no capacity to engage in my new long form way of being but before that I’d realised I thought I had something there that I actually didn’t... it’s complex but the connection was with a version of myself... people wanted to interact with a very specific version of me.
When my husband Dave got sick that version of me was buried in new born life, caring responsibilities and feeling scared... (nearly) no one and I will repeat this (nearly) no one on the gram cared.
The people who cared and helped came from other places apart from one of Dave’s ex clients who saw a post I’d written there that most folks have ignored and drove 50 minutes to chat with us on the doorstep (lockdown) brought presents for the kids and loads of home cooked food. It was so unbelievably beautiful it’s almost like it didn’t happen...
Social media showed me the worst of humanity at a time when I was painfully desperate for support.
Of course it’s not because they didn’t care it’s because they weren’t there for that and that’s why I’ve built community somewhere else now because recognising that chatting with people online everyday for years (a lot of them local) is literally just that ... just chat ... well that bit hit hard...
‘Social media showed me the worst of humanity at a time when I was painfully desperate for support’. Oh Claire, I am so sorry that this time in your life you didn’t have the extra support that you needed. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big giant hug 🤗
And I completely understand about chatting with people online for years thinking it’s more, but it is just chat. Yes, I can relate to that one for sure.
I appreciate your words here Claire so much! 😊💛
Oh my goodness, that's such a poignant story. And a real reminder I guess that the community we think we are building on Instagram might not be what we think it is.
awful way to find out that most of what we think we have created on instagram isn't real community or friendship at all! That said, I think, even though we have lots of mutual people, it's where you and I built our friendship initially and for that I am grateful :)
Oh this sounds like you are in my brain Mackenzie! I too feel like I need space away from Instagram but feel I will genuinely miss some of the content and people I follow. I say to myself that I should set boundaries such as don't use the app until a certain time and stop using it after a certain time but I find that easier said than done. I feel like I need it but also that I could probably live without it. It's a tough one isn't it! I'm interested to see what others have to say on the topic ☺️
Yes, I’ve tried to set boundaries with it as well, such as not using it after 7 in the evening or something. I do really well for a bit and then... I’m back on it before bed 😣
It’s a hard one to navigate isn’t it? 🌿✨
Same! Always back on it before bed ... it's a bad habit I need to crack for sure!
essentially the platform is created to keep you there as long as possible. very clever people who understand human psychology have made it so - we all feel weak for not being able to control ourselves when in reality, it's really really hard
That is such a good point Sarah! And it definitely makes me feel weak when I can't resist the temptation.
I took a week’s break about two and a half months ago and I didn’t know how much I needed it til I did it. I don’t know if I’ll bother getting back to it now, I really don’t miss it.
I did pop back on just to check if I had any messages and a few people were worried about me. The pull to stay and scroll was soooo strong so I just deleted it again. It’s such a time suck and I feel more creative and contented without all that endless noise.
I agree, it is such a time suck, and I find I don’t feel better after having used the app. It does get in the way of creativity, that’s for sure! ✨
I love this post!
To share my experience, I deactivated my Instagram in August 2022 and haven't looked back. I now concentrate all my efforts on YouTube and here and my business had grown dramatically so I can not make this my full time job.
I have an even deeper relationship with my community and my mental health has significantly benefitted from this decision. For me, there is no upside that Instagram, or social media generally, that can outweigh the negatives.
Maybe you could trail deactivating Instagram for a few weeks to see how you feel?
‘For me, there is no upside that Instagram, or social media generally, that can outweigh the negatives’. I love what you said here. Social media seems very heavy and a weight that we just don’t want to carry anymore.
Deactivating Instagram definitely seems like a possibility, thanks for the advice! 😊
love to hear this story :)
My feed is mostly of interesting art, which I find thought-provoking and interesting. I'm not a heavy user of Instagram and don't understand entirely how it works but, for me, my power is in curating my feed so that it isn't full of posts that make me want but things that lift me up.
I love how you curated your feed Julie 💛 Sounds like a nice place to be!
I really like your distinction on what Instagram is really influencing us on, I haven’t thought of it as coveting before but that’s really what FOMO is in a way.
I’ve been feeling similarly about it and wish I could give an answer/some advice. Lately I’ve just been treating as a space to share for fun what I’ve been working on, but even that feels a bit forced. I just don’t enjoy the scroll there anymore. I find that when I’m off the app my brain feels a lot quieter. Now with Threads, there’s something new to focus on, but the novelty of that feels rather short lived.
Letters from a Hopeful Creative has a recent podcast about building an audience without Instagram, I recommend checking it out if you haven’t already!
‘I just don’t enjoy the scroll there anymore. I find that when I’m off the app my brain feels a lot quieter’. Yes, me too! I’ve realized I feel a bit of anxiety more and more each time I am on there.
I will definitely check out that podcast episode! Thanks for the recommendation Kerani! 💛
Good grief... I am at that same point... I’m questioning all of the above and literally wrecking my head with the question, ‘do I delete entirely, do I just post once a week or once a month..?’
Like you I’ve made some wonderful friends there over 12 years but there are other ways to stay in contact right..!
I still can’t decide and am new to Substack, have very few subs and am still finding my way around - but with the addition of Notes here it feels like I could start again - the question is do I have the energy to put my all into something new, again?
It feels so scary and yet it shouldn’t.. it’s just a little app!!
I réalise this doesn’t help you in the slightest either and as always a problem shared is not halved but doubled - it’s a relief to know I’m not alone in this dilemma though... 🙏🏽
It is a relief to know that I am not alone in my dilemma Susie! It is hard to navigate social media and all the apps when everything is vying for our attention, isn’t it?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 💕
Just now getting around to reading this. Thanks for sharing the link with me! I'm so glad we're having these conversations and being honest about where we all are with Instagram (or just social media in general). I don't have answers but I want to keep talking about it.
Thanks for reading Breanne. I am glad we are all having these conversations as well 🙂
I recognise so much of what you are saying
🥰
oh my, so much to say! I am in a similar season of dilemma. There are some people who if I left entirely I would for sure lose contact with and I don't really want to tbh. I also like some of the fun content created by people like Clara at Colormeloverly who do absolutely add value to my life.
I am in a season of social media burn out though, I have to use it for a couple of work related projects and even deleting the apps is problematic from that point of view. But I did close my facebook group and stop posting to my page. I am also almost weaned off using it socially to keep up with friends and family too. I feel so done with about 95% of it. I joined threads and almost instantly deleted the app and have felt no pull whatsoever to go back to it.
I think for me I need to make some very clear decisions. Like should I log onto instagram once a day to do what I need to do and then delete the app? I already have a time limit of 30 mins set up on my phone but I can easily and often do, override this. Gah!
Yes, social media burnout! It has all become too much, really. So. Many. Apps. I think collectively we are realizing that our attention is truly being scattered and we’re trying desperately to get it back.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here Sarah and I hope you find a way that works for you with Instagram! 💕
It's a big dilemma for sure. I think the biggest challenge for me are the lifestyle comparisons it triggers. One minute I'm enjoying my small simple life, feeling blessed with what I have, the next minute I'm consuming images of other people's carefully curated and stylised lives and feeling woefully inadequate. Even though I know they are heavily curated, I instantly feel that I am lacking. I haven't found a solution, other than to remind myself that people only tend to post their highlights. Behind the scenes their life looks a lot like mine, with the same struggles, insecurities, disappointments and heartbreaks. Substack feels refreshing cos the conversations here are a little deeper, fuller and more real than the stylised sound-bites on Instagram.
‘One minute I'm enjoying my small simple life, feeling blessed with what I have, the next minute I'm consuming images of other people's carefully curated and stylised lives and feeling woefully inadequate. Even though I know they are heavily curated, I instantly feel that I am lacking’. THIS... 👏🏼👏🏼 Yes, you have summed it up exactly! Constantly comparing ourselves to others on that app runs deep, doesn’t it?
Substack feels so much better! 🌸
Hello! December 1st of last year, I deleted my beloved Instagram account. I debated it for months, especially since it was a platform where I kept up on local nonprofits, discovered artists and creators, and made friends with people from different parts of the world; and I also love photography and loved sharing my photos.
Ultimately though, I subscribed to newsletters, patreons, or found the websites of those organizations and creators, got the actual emails/WhatsApp numbers of friends, and actually announced a month ahead in an IG story that I was deleting it, which helped me to delete it, and I also got other people that I followed sharing their personal contact info (I deleted Facebook s few months prior).
Once I did delete, I thought it would be hard withdrawal, missing it terribly. You know what? I didn’t. It was actually a bit astonishing how I simply didn’t use it anymore. It did have the effect of focusing more on friendships that I really cherish, and it also made me realize which artists/creators I truly admire, and which organizations I strongly believe in. Everything has become s but more intentional, again.
So: I don’t miss it and am glad I deleted it :)
Also, Instagram is the only app I have felt addicted to, which contributed to my decision to delete
Thank you for sharing Kristin! These are such great ideas about how you can still be connected to whom and what you are interested in, without being tethered to the app. You’ve given me food for thought, thanks! 🤗
It's truly a love/hate toxic relationship that I have with Instagram now, for all the reasons you and others have described. And it's been a huge part of my life, but I almost feel that the digital grooming is only now coming to light. I just wish there was an IG-original platform where the photos were everything; where business and advertising stayed TF out; where it felt like everyone had their own albums to share; where it was a beautiful hobby- space instead of an addictive, habit-changing time suck. Sigh...
Yes, it seems many of us have a love/hate relationship with that app 😣 I too miss when it was just photos and was simply a lovely space to be.
You write so beautifully and I think you've really captured the essence of my unease with Instagram. I still enjoy spending time there but I'm aware that I spend a lot less time there than I used to - and I'm fine with that. Most days I check with with stories and those of my pals but I rarely explore anymore and I stick to my formula of posting 3-4 times per week. I'm not ready to give it up but I'm not ready to invest much energy in it either.
Oh, thank you Louise, that is so kind of you 💗
Instagram does seem to take up a lot of energy and it seems like more and more people just don’t have that energy to give anymore.