do it for the 'gram

but what if you don't want to?

Back when I was having fun posting on Instagram.

There's been quite a bit of chatter over the last few months about Instagram and how people are saying enough is enough, and changing how they use the app. Some still have their account but are just no longer posting. Others have deactivated their account, so out of sight, out of mind. And there are those who have completely deleted their account, no turning back.

Where do I fall in this Instagram quagmire? I still have my account, but I am not sure what the future will entail.

Like others, I miss the yesteryear of Instagram. Remember chronological order? Ah, the good 'ol days, before the onslaught of advertisements and people dancing and pointing to random words.

I know that we can't go back and although Instagram is a much different place then it was in the beginning, I do like following certain accounts and some of the connections that I have made on there. There are days when I really enjoy the app and there are other days where it does nothing but heighten whatever I am feeling at the moment; anxiousness, unhappiness, comparison, etc...

Last year, I changed how I used Instagram because I was really feeling low about the app. I culled who I followed and turned off my "like" count so that the number of likes, whatever the number ended up being, wouldn't send me into some spiral of likening my worth to a filtered photo. It sounds ridiculous to even type that, but if you've watched the documentary The Social Dilemma, you'll know that what I am saying is true.

I also started treating Instagram as a live-action Pinterest board. Someone shared a book that I want to read? Okay, I'll just save that post and go back to it, when I am in the mood for reading a new book. A fantastic dinner recipe was shared? Fabulous, I'll just save that one as well, and when I am stumped as to what to make for supper, I'll just click on this recipe. And so on and so forth.

And this was working for me for a good while... until it didn't.

I obviously cannot speak for everyone when it comes to Instagram. We are all fundamentally wired in different ways. But for me personally, I started to not feel myself when it came to this app. I thought my mind was strong enough to ignore the siren call of influencing, but I was wrong.

I was being influenced and didn't even realize it.

No, I wasn't purchasing all the things that people were talking about (a couple of things to be sure, but that is not the influencing part I am talking about here).

I was being influenced to covet things I didn't want, covet places I didn't want to go, and to covet lifestyles that I didn't want to change my life for.

This app was making me question aspects of myself that shouldn't be questioned. And yes, I realize I am a grown woman, and I can decide things for myself, and an app shouldn't have this kind of power over my thoughts. An apt observation, yes. But this awareness of this realization of how strong Instagram is and their superpowers to change how our minds interact with and interpret this information, is nothing short of astounding and I am and continue to be flabbergasted.

And I don't what to do now. I don't know what to do with my newfound consciousness. I genuinely like whom I follow on the app and feel I would miss some of the interactions on there.

But how do I change my thoughts and feelings surrounding Instagram? Now that I know that I can be influenced in ways that I do not like, how do I stay cognizant and aware of that whilst also enjoying others posts for example? Is there no way out? Only go on the app once a month? Once a year? Delete and move on?

I am not sure what to do at this point dear readers, so I am posing these questions to you. Do you use Instagram? How do you use it? How often do you use it? Do you have a way of using it that is helpful for you mentally? Do you find yourself being influenced?

Let me know in the comments 😊