I relate to ALL of this! I have a note in my bedroom that says ‘everything that needs to get done, will get done’ to help bring me down from the high-stakes productivity panic and overwhelm!
I relate with this completely! For me, it was about my value. I used to attached my own value to my level of productivity. And it has been a long journey to try to deprogram that belief and start to see my value just by existing, and to start seeing the purpose of this life as simply living.
Now I feel like I live more in the present and I’m aware of my discomfort when I'm not productive. It took some time, and I still keep coming back to myself, reminding myself that I don't have to do everything today, asking myself: What does a relaxed woman look like? How does a regulated nervous system feel? Thank you for what you write.
"Attaching our value to productivity"... yup, right here, and I am in the process of deprogramming and fighting childhood messaging. I think we, as a society, value productivity because the results are typically tangible. We like things and what can be seen. We like to be able to label. Productivity is proof of something. But... and I'm just thinking aloud... there is so much proof in doing the soul work and in digging deep. Work like that is the work that really pays both internally and externally. But it goes back to values, what we value in ourselves, in others, and in the world. I value conversations like these, which make me think and connect versus a conversation about status or material stuff. Values... I don't think people think enough about their values (assuming they've identified them) and really lean into them as they live their lives. Okay... enough! ;)
‘I think we, as a society, value productivity because the results are typically tangible. We like things and what can be seen’. Absolutely! This is it exactly! I loved you entire comment Meegan, but that part right there was brilliant 👍🏼
I am in the process of deprogramming TOO! I find myself with a chronic illness in this season of my life. It makes for a body that cannot sustain ABP, that if I try, will land me right on my ass in bed. From my pillows I will then tear myself apart about how unproductive and LAZY I am. Being IN BED ALL DAY?! (Even though I can do nothing else, and just peeing in the en-suite is fraught).
Yet over and over I push my body wayyyyy past its currently given resources, in the hope that “this time!”, but This Time never comes. I am urged by general society AND by immediate cohorts to “just push through! You’ll feel better! Go for a walk! Do yoga!” I know that those things are highly likely to result in bed, but on a “good” day, nine times out of ten I will add them to housekeeping, household management, and heathen forbid if I have to do a job site or two or three (three is….all I can do.).
Some of this may get better post surgery, but I do not know for sure if it will, or how much better it will be. The chronic illness still lies under a more immediate but curable condition that took 4 damn years and me in really bad shape to finally address.
All this to say, I am trying hard to remind myself that rest isn’t earned (neither is nourishment). Rest is GREAT no matter WHAT it looks like. There is no specific way to rest, and there is no morality attached to resting. People may want there to be, but it’s not really there.
My inner driver is just fine, and knows what to do. I don’t need to be in the back of society’s cop car.
Love that you have this awareness Mackenzie, it brings so much insight. Without going into it all, this has become an unsustainable way of humanity and we are being called to change the way we live, breathe, behave, grow and develop. Well be asked to take notice or ummmm have no choice!
Just who is telling "us" to be constantly productive? Is this a generational or cultural thing? Can't really blame capitalism because there are a number of capitalist countries that are productive, yet they see nothing wrong with instituting "siesta time" or the two-hour lunch tradition for everybody.
I've read recently that Millennials are doing this "gotta be productive and spectacular" all the time schick. It's nonsense. Granted, it's all about competition, but that comes from insecure people who need to tell people what to do. OR it's some wee, small dictator in our brains telling us to live like this. Tell whoever or whatever is shoving constant productivity in your face to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. If it's important, you'll get it done.
There is more of us than I realised, who want to opt out of the A.B.P life!
We want to stop feeling guilty.
We want to stop the "shoulds".
We want to start being instead of always doing.
Thanks for this piece!
You’re so welcome Mika! 💛✨
I relate to ALL of this! I have a note in my bedroom that says ‘everything that needs to get done, will get done’ to help bring me down from the high-stakes productivity panic and overwhelm!
That is brilliant! What a great reminder to have, love it! 🥰
Oh, I love that reminder.
I relate with this completely! For me, it was about my value. I used to attached my own value to my level of productivity. And it has been a long journey to try to deprogram that belief and start to see my value just by existing, and to start seeing the purpose of this life as simply living.
Now I feel like I live more in the present and I’m aware of my discomfort when I'm not productive. It took some time, and I still keep coming back to myself, reminding myself that I don't have to do everything today, asking myself: What does a relaxed woman look like? How does a regulated nervous system feel? Thank you for what you write.
"Attaching our value to productivity"... yup, right here, and I am in the process of deprogramming and fighting childhood messaging. I think we, as a society, value productivity because the results are typically tangible. We like things and what can be seen. We like to be able to label. Productivity is proof of something. But... and I'm just thinking aloud... there is so much proof in doing the soul work and in digging deep. Work like that is the work that really pays both internally and externally. But it goes back to values, what we value in ourselves, in others, and in the world. I value conversations like these, which make me think and connect versus a conversation about status or material stuff. Values... I don't think people think enough about their values (assuming they've identified them) and really lean into them as they live their lives. Okay... enough! ;)
‘I think we, as a society, value productivity because the results are typically tangible. We like things and what can be seen’. Absolutely! This is it exactly! I loved you entire comment Meegan, but that part right there was brilliant 👍🏼
I am in the process of deprogramming TOO! I find myself with a chronic illness in this season of my life. It makes for a body that cannot sustain ABP, that if I try, will land me right on my ass in bed. From my pillows I will then tear myself apart about how unproductive and LAZY I am. Being IN BED ALL DAY?! (Even though I can do nothing else, and just peeing in the en-suite is fraught).
Yet over and over I push my body wayyyyy past its currently given resources, in the hope that “this time!”, but This Time never comes. I am urged by general society AND by immediate cohorts to “just push through! You’ll feel better! Go for a walk! Do yoga!” I know that those things are highly likely to result in bed, but on a “good” day, nine times out of ten I will add them to housekeeping, household management, and heathen forbid if I have to do a job site or two or three (three is….all I can do.).
Some of this may get better post surgery, but I do not know for sure if it will, or how much better it will be. The chronic illness still lies under a more immediate but curable condition that took 4 damn years and me in really bad shape to finally address.
All this to say, I am trying hard to remind myself that rest isn’t earned (neither is nourishment). Rest is GREAT no matter WHAT it looks like. There is no specific way to rest, and there is no morality attached to resting. People may want there to be, but it’s not really there.
My inner driver is just fine, and knows what to do. I don’t need to be in the back of society’s cop car.
‘What does a relaxed woman look like? How does a regulated nervous system feel?’ This! 👏🏼👏🏼
Appreciate your response Melissa! 🤗✨
Love that you have this awareness Mackenzie, it brings so much insight. Without going into it all, this has become an unsustainable way of humanity and we are being called to change the way we live, breathe, behave, grow and develop. Well be asked to take notice or ummmm have no choice!
It is definitely unsustainable Louise, I agree. Love your thoughts on this! 🩷✨
I do suffer acutely from the feeling I should be productive all the time, but I’m working on it 🙈
It’s such a work in progress for us, isn’t it? 😊
Absolutely!
Just who is telling "us" to be constantly productive? Is this a generational or cultural thing? Can't really blame capitalism because there are a number of capitalist countries that are productive, yet they see nothing wrong with instituting "siesta time" or the two-hour lunch tradition for everybody.
I've read recently that Millennials are doing this "gotta be productive and spectacular" all the time schick. It's nonsense. Granted, it's all about competition, but that comes from insecure people who need to tell people what to do. OR it's some wee, small dictator in our brains telling us to live like this. Tell whoever or whatever is shoving constant productivity in your face to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. If it's important, you'll get it done.