why i'm having a slow summer

and have no desire to have the best summer EVER!

A common theme starting right around Memorial Day or the end of spring depending on where you live, is creating a summer bucket list. What are your plans? What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What do you want to accomplish? What are you going to do with your life for 8 solid weeks without a game plan? What. Are. You. Going. To. Do?

Just typing that out is exhausting and to be honest, I almost fell for the hype. I almost got sucked in. It was familiar, this keeping up with the Jones’ summer extravaganza super hyped summer palooza do all the things fun fest.

Because you see, I’ve done it before.

I have made a super summer bucket list before. I put all the things and all the activities on it and was determined that we were going to have the BEST SUMMER EVER and start the school year when all this summering was over, blissfully happy that we spent June, July, and August truly living our best sunburnt life.

What really happened was that the list exceeded what we could actually accomplish before that first bell rang on that first day of school. What happened was that days of rest were sometimes preferable to doing all the things. What happened was that I felt societal pressure to set unrealistic goals and activities without thinking of the intent behind them. What happened is that I was disappointed. No one else felt this way but the mom guilt was real. Was I still a good mom if we didn’t make sandcastles at the beach? If we didn’t eat ice cream at least twice a week, complete with said ice cream dribbling down a chocolate cone, did I fail as a person?

Never mind the fact that social media will have you believing all the smiling photos that show #bestsummerever is a true thing and unless your children are in matching swimsuits complete with matching sandals and sun-kissed faces, well you just aren’t doing it right.

Well, guess what? I am not a hashtag. I am a person. And this person is not jumping into the go-hard-or-go home mentality surrounding summer. I can’t do it all and I don’t have to. Summer is not a thing to conquer or get through. It is a season of life. I am not going to do everything perfectly, especially on 90-degree days, nor should I feel compelled to.

I am not making a list of all the things I should be doing this summer. My day-to-day and what I strive for always, is a simpler yet intentional life. That shouldn’t change simply because there are more hours of daylight to be had.

Here is what I am doing this summer:

Whatever we want. No list. Just enjoying our days and spending time with each other.

And that is enough.

Will there be ice cream at some point? Yes. Also, we’ve already had some so I can definitively answer this question. We will probably have some more over the next few months, but it is not a bucket list item that I need to strike through. We had some and it was fine.

We might make it to the beach, we might not. Again, the sun will continue to rise whether or not I dip my toes in the sand or just walk the pier and go home.

Life is better when we don’t try to plan every single thing and I say this as a person who likes schedules and routines. I know this about myself, and I also know summer is one of those seasons that just needs space and breathing room. There is a saying that I am probably not quoting correctly about the fact that you only have 18 summers with your children and to make them count. Making memories is important and so is being in the moment. These high temperature days are the perfect time to just let go.

We do not have to give in to pressure to have a thrilling, knock-your-socks-off kind of summer. It is okay to choose contentment and reflect on what you actually want to do and what you don’t want to do. You can choose how to use your time the best.

There is beauty in the simple.

I wrote these words at the beginning of last summer and I wanted to share it here with all of you in case anyone is feeling overwhelmed with feeling like they have to “do all the things” over the course of the next few months. Spoiler alert: you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s all up to you! :)