the space between the breaths
for the overthinkers among us.
I've done meditation sessions on and off for a few years now, but this year, 2024, is the first year that I've gotten really serious about it. I had listened to enough podcasts from various different people in all walks of life, explain how meditation fundamentally changed them for the better. They viscerally felt different within their bodies. They rolled with the punches instead of letting the punches batter them about. They observed things and situations differently.
I want that, I thought. How do I get this, how do I transcend?
I've always been an overthinker. If overthinking were an Olympic sport, I'd win the gold medal, hands down. Are we born overthinking, or are we a product of our environment? Interesting question. Humans are such complicated creatures, I'm of the opinion that it could be either. There is no prescription for overthinking, is there? No doctor says to a patient, you know that issue that you are ruminating on, keep at it until it eats you up. We overthinkers just do. Our brains just think through every possibility and then go further and think through every possibility of that particular possibility.
It can be exhausting, to say the least.
Recently, I was doing a guided mediation and the guide said something along the lines of really leaning into what happens between the inhale and the exhale. She said to really notice the space between the breaths. In my seated position, cross-legged, straight-backed and palms up, my brain registered what she said, and I thought "whoa"...
For an overthinker such as myself, I really appreciated what she said because it's all about the pause, isn't it? There's nothing wrong inherently with thinking through something or trying to sort out a problem by coming up with possible solutions. It's how our minds process things, right? But pausing is so important, isn't it? If we notice ourselves ruminating, pause, see how it feels to switch gears and ponder something else instead. Pausing and asking ourselves, is this current trajectory of thought helping me or hindering me? Noticing the space between our breaths, literally. Is my breathing shallow? Can I take a bit of a deeper breath here?
Inhale. Pause. Exhale.
I've mentioned previously that one of the mantras that I really take to heart and try to stay true to is resistance is suffering. It can be applicable to most things, but I find it to be true in instances where I am resistant to change. Our brains try to keep us safe and protected and well, they aren't the biggest supporters of change. It's why we like our comfort zones so much. We already know what's going to happen. But when change is necessary and in some cases, of the utmost importance, we can be resistant to that change and attempt to fight it and stay within what we know. But the resisting makes us unhappy. The fighting makes us miserable.
But we can pause. We can take a deep breath. Inhale, then exhale. In that space between the breaths, we can ask ourselves where is this resistance showing up in my body? Does my body feel a certain way? Positive or negative? We can ask ourselves internally or journal it out onto the page, how we are feeling about our resistance. Why is this causing disharmony within us?
Notice the space between the breaths.
Again, thinking is what our brains were wired to do. There is nothing wrong with thinking, in and of itself. But I have found meditation to be helpful in calming my mind when it wants to go on a tear. When it wants to fire up all the synapses in my brain and keep me from actually being here in the moment that I am in. Meditation has been beneficial in that I now ask the question "is this helpful"? The things that I am saying or doing or thinking... is this at all helpful?
I'm not perfect and I've never claimed to be. I haven't reached the mountaintop, nor have I reached a Zen state or enlightenment. But I am here most days palms up, eyes closed, sitting straight, taking deep breaths to better equip my mind and body to weather the storms that life eventually sets unto our path. They don't have to be long sessions, even a few minutes help me immeasurably. I feel better when I take a few minutes to just be still and feel at odds with myself when I don't.
🦋
How about you? Do you have a mediation practice? How do you practice mindfulness in your own life? Let me know in the comments, I'd love to hear!
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Hi Mackenzie, I just discovered your substack and am thoroughly enjoying reading your posts! Oh boy do I understand the overthinking. Those of us wired with those overactive minds do suffer greatly, but we can learn to quiet them as you discovered. I utilize meditation a lot for this purpose. But one thing that I also focus on is that as women, we often are the ones holding up the world (it sure feels that way doesn't it) and it is not really practical for us to think we are going to have the luxury (or even the desire) to become zen masters and delve into the "traditional" meditation. I instead believe women meditate differently...we the multitaskers know how to step into that moment of silence to still the mind and then pick back up and pack that lunch, carpool, and rush to work. I believe we are wired to be able to do so, to grab those small moments (and when we are lucky that 20-30 minutes). I love the focus on the breath that you speak of! Breathing techniques can draw us in and help us to calm the nervous system and the mind. Thank you so much for sharing this post! I am enjoying all your writing so very much!
This was fascinating! I loved this and relate to the wow of realising about the space between breath, the emptiness, fertile void and therefore the infinite potential xx