the door of happiness

and which door is front of you?

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us". - Helen Keller

I feel like I am on the precipice of something, something big. I have all these ideas and dreams and goals, and I haven't felt this energized in a long time. I feel like I am going to bubble over, and I want to make each day, each moment count for something. It feels marvelous.

I can count on one hand the number of times I have had this feeling. Is it sad that I can only count it on one hand and not both? Maybe. But this isn't about all the times I have been extremely happy or overflowing with joy. Those times, especially at the age I am, are too numerous to count.

What I am talking about is an alignment body and soul, with my dreams and ideas and beginning the hard work to get them to come to fruition.

Hence the precipice.

But there have been so many times that I have embodied this Helen Keller quote and if one is human, I am sure there are times you have felt this way as well.

---

I remember when I was younger and really wanted to attend a university that was quite literally, on the other side of the country and not being able to go, because the financial loans that I would have had to take out would have been staggering and would have buried me before I had even set foot in my first class. I was so upset at having to attend a university close to where I was residing and live at home whilst attending. I just wanted to go away!!!, my teenage brain resounded. At the time, it felt like a door was slamming shut that I was doing everything in my might, to open.

Ah, the folly of teenage thinking.

Turns out that door, an expensive loan-appreciating door, was shut for a reason although I didn't know it at the time. I started my college life at my local university, and ultimately thrived. I graduated with my bachelor's degree with no student loan debt and hey, a door with no debt, is indeed a door of happiness.

But I know that I looked at that closed door for a looooong time before I shook myself off and got on with the business of schooling and living my new and adjusted college life.

---

Life is filled with countless examples of doors shutting right in our face, and us banging on that door to reopen. Just give me a chance!, we shout. We plead, we pull on the door handle, we sob and slowly slide against the door until we are crumbled in a heap on the floor. Can they see our tears puddling under the door?

I've always wondered about the super resilient people, the ones who are going after what they want. When that one door of happiness that they were so keen on, shuts in their face, their resilience to move on and go to the next door, is quite breathtaking. Do they have more optimism than others? Do they know that their door is just around the bend, and it's okay that that one shut, because theirs's coming up? Do they know that life is full of happiness doors, and they've got the key in their pocket that is going to unlock their special door?

Resilience with a capital R.

Well, I don't know about you, but I am quite tired of staring at closed doors. Life is full of closed doors, it doesn't mean I have to continue to lean up against them, hoping that they will open this time. Because life is also full of open doors, magical doors that are awaiting my knock, that are waiting for the right set of keys that only I have. Those doors are waiting for me, waiting for me to turn the handle, waiting for me to walk through.

Life inevitably happens. The ups and downs and all of it. But I am going to look for my doors of happiness. Because they are there, I know it. And when that one door of happiness shuts, that's okay. I'll just keep on walking until I find my door.

Because I am resilient with a capital R.

And it is time for me to step through my door.