gracefully aging
and the need to smash the ticking clock
It was a typical day, nothing special. It was spring and for southern California last year, the temperature was probably in the 70's, Fahrenheit. Nothing special, nothing earth-shattering.
But on this random non-earth-shattering day, I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Now before I go on with my tale, I am well aware that bathroom lighting can be our friend or foe depending on our mood and whether or not we got enough sleep the night before.
But I digress...
As I was saying, on this particular random day, I caught my reflection in the mirror and actually did a double take. I'd looked into this mirror hundreds of times at this point, getting ready for the day, and again at night getting ready for bed. But this time, this particular time, actually took me by surprise. Why did I look different? Was something wrong? Why am I pausing in front of the mirror?
And then a voice popped up in my head and said, "You look older than you used to".
So what? I challenged the voice. So what that I look older, I'm not eighteen for crying out loud. I am a grown woman in her mid-40's, slowly but surely making headway into a new decade in the not-so-distant future. Of course, I look older.
And then I got irritated. Not at myself, but at a society that keeps pointing out that aging is somehow a major flaw in the trajectory of life. I have always, always, always believed that that getting older is a gift. It is truly a gift. Not everyone gets to live to the age you are currently. You've heard that saying that every day is a gift, that is why it is called the present. It is true. Aging is truly a gift.
I am tired of being told that my fine lines in my face are somehow detrimental to my well-being. I am fed up with being pointed out that the crow's feet surrounding my eyes are somehow disfiguring and need to be eliminated. I am absolutely over being fed lies that somehow the laugh lines surrounding my mouth rob me of any youthful fun that I could potentially have.
I am over it.
Do you know what? I've earned every line I have, every single one. Those laugh lines are a blessing. To all the people over the course of my life who have made me laugh until I cried, thank you. Thank you for those laugh lines. I treasure them.
To the lines that crease my forehead and line the outsides of my eyes, you show my resilience. You show that life gives us trials and tribulations and we come out stronger on the other side. Weathered but grateful.
I've earned my lines and have no desire to "erase" them.
That one moment in front of the mirror was just that. A moment, nothing more, nothing less.
I am gratefully aging.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made and am thankful for it.
How do you feel about advertisements and society as a whole regarding women and aging? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Another relatable and truth-filled post - thank you. In regard to your question/prompt, it's upto us whether we pay attention to what advertisers and society as a whole think about how we look. We don't have to buy into it.
A mother who was in her 40s and whose son plays on my son's football team died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. It's been a jolting reminder that getting "old" is not promised to us, it is a blessing and just how irrelevant other people's opinions of our appearance are. As you say, we need to embrace the life told by the lines on our faces.
Wait until you look in the mirror and see your mother staring back at you. Then again, that depends on the relationship you have with your mother. As for advertising, the forties is when the advertisers can really prey upon your fear of aging and death. Everything in your life is pointing to the slowdown in your social and especially your career relevance. If you have a vibrant career, perhaps you're watching your company, unless you own it, hiring younger people who are full of themselves and the snark that goes with that hubris. If you've had one of those haphazard careers made up of a train of jobs leading nowhere that signify a variety of occupations, you're watching your options shrink. That's scary and has very little to do with laugh lines and crows-feet. Luckily, if you can endure the BS until you reach your 60s, you'll suddenly have this magical moment when you feel like you don't have to impress anybody. "Fuck-em!" That's freedom, dear friend. Celebrate and let it spur your power.